We all know folks who seem to just naturally get things done. They’re action-oriented, resourceful and open-minded. We also know folks who seem to be paralyzed by obstacles, afraid to make decisions or are simply too consumed by worry to concentrate on the real issues at hand.
Obviously, we all want to be the first kind of person that makes things happen despite setbacks, unforeseen circumstances or just too many “forks in the road.” But sometimes, we can’t help but fall into the second category. We’re in uncharted territory, tackling new assignments or challenged beyond what we feel is our skill set.
It is a Personal Choice to Act as a “Wallower” or Serve as a “Resolver”
First of all, it is human nature to be decisive about things we know . . . and indecisive or worrisome about things we don’t know. It’s all about our comfort zone. But, friends, I’m here to tell you that it is a PERSONAL CHOICE to decide whether you want to be a “resolver” or a “wallower” despite where you are in your comfort zone.
Take me, for example. I’ve become a “resolution” freak with the keyword being “become”! I can’t stand having un-resolved problems, especially if I can do something about them. But I haven’t always been this way. In fact, I learned this the hard way. I found that if I wallowed in the worry, I’d end up making a “mountain out of a molehill.” I was more caught up in the act of worrying than the act of resolving. And folks, that’s just not healthy. Not for me, not for you, not for your team, not for the issue at hand.
Why Did I Resolve to Become a “Resolver?
It’s simple. Focusing on the worry NEVER resolves the problem, not even one bit. But focusing on the resolution almost always makes the issue seem just a little smaller and more manageable. In fact, I’m now so obsessive about ‘reveling in the resolution’ that I am over-the-top impatient with people who complain for the sake of complaining. To be clear, venting is natural for all of us. But “true complaining” is nothing more than fear and procrastination that creates needless and unproductive blame, anxiety and worry.
Here’s How I Became a “Resolver”
- Calm and objectify your mind, heart and soul and get to the root of the problem: The root of the problem is NOT the emotion. Emotions simply just mask what really is going on. Get to the cause. Get to the source. Get to the core. Then and only then will you truly be ready and able to resolve. At that time, focus on all possible solutions to resolve the problem.
Here’s the guarantee . . . Start attacking and resolving the problem and the worry will seem to magically disappear.
- Eliminate ALL non-truths, assumptions and biases in your thinking. Let’s face it, emotions, especially negative ones can cloud truth and create assumptions and bias. It’s easy to “stretch the truth” to our favor when we are emotionally charged. Instead, start by separating TRUTH from ASSUMPTION (something you cannot fully prove) and BIAS (something you believe but may not be valid). If unsure, investigate until you do know what is what. The bottom line is this . . . act only on truth for a rational, fact-based resolution.
- Sleep on it: Have you heard the saying, “A good night’s sleep can do wonders”? Give yourself a “go” pass to temporarily delay resolution. Allow the emotion to subside a little, regain perspective and then attack the problem via steps 1 and 2.
- Seek counsel from others who are objective on the issue. Often times, we want to be the king or queen of the world and conquer it all by ourselves. Or, at least, not admit that we need help. But if worry and emotion are still clouding your judgment, then it’s time to consider seeking advice from someone you both trust and respect who is ‘OUTSIDE of YOUR woods.’
- Even problems that are large or complex can get near-term resolution. Though they can seem overwhelming, take control by breaking them down into manageable “bites.” Tackle these “bites” and you’ll start to see progress. Treat ‘resolving’ in these situations like marathons and not like sprints. The progress will deflect the worry in every situation. This will give you the motivation and determination to keep at it.
My “Resolver” Challenge to You:
Your leadership challenge: Refuse to keep on hurting yourself by ‘wallowing in the worry.’ Make the CHOICE to resolve those anxiety points in your life and you’ll be more effective, more centered and more fulfilled as a leader and a human being.
I’m Here to Help You Own It
You CAN overcome – and take control of – your “worries.” Privately send me your challenges, questions and comments or use the forum below. I can’t guarantee I’ll have all the answers, but I will be candid, truthful and genuine. All of us can inspire, lead and achieve and drive higher performance and organizational health if we simply work at it.